" Dedication "

Tender lines of hope, despair, and selfishness
mar my face.
Just when you think I'm happy, living, breathing on my own
if you so much as blink, turn away for the slightest of moments,
I will destroy myself before you can even inhale
with a thought, with a pondering moment of
failure
to even live, to even breathe, to even fall to my knees in ecstatic despair

I can not do anything, 
be anything,

and that in itself is pathetic enough,
without your echoic voice
ensuring me that
I deserve nothing--
but you deserve everything
and me holding on for another night
with the outbreaks of flame and disaster, in my eyes, shaking
through my lungs and veins

hopeless destruction waiting to happen in a moment,
as these war-lines and paint mark my skin, pour from my eyes,
all falling down, having no where to go,

it was always known that with my true nemesis
it was always known that I was to die alone,

there was nothing
and everything you thought you loved has been a lie and
I will laugh as I set fire to my own soul, the one that laughed with you through the night,
held on to your words and clung tight,
so tight
to the idea that you actually cared.

here I fall in front of you,
but you can't even spare a glance.